Someone asked me what kindness was today and this is what I said.

Kindness is not being rushed. During SE sessions we often tell the client ‘take all the time you need’ and every time i hear it and every time i say it, it is medicine. Kindness is letting it happen however it happens. It’s radical allowance, but not the kind packaged as an e-bundle for $150.

It’s giving your entire system as much time as it needs to go through something. It’s giving your system all the permission it needs to allow whatever that something shows up as. It’s reminding yourself that all of that is the most incredibly human thing there is and that in some way giving it to yourself is filling the void of all grieving hearts with this medicine and we all…heal.

And not because we’ve learned a new breathing technique, because we’ve learned to let what is human in us speak. There is so much to what makes us human and so little of it can be charted. In fact, it can’t be charted at all, it just has to be lived.

Kindness says, I see the war in you. It’s a real war. You are weary. And I am sorry. And there is rarely justice. And the equations don’t always add up. And breathing is hard. And you can’t see the good. And that’s okay. Take all the time you need.