We are deep in the grief. Whether we know it or not
The Grand Canyon sized predicament we find ourselves in cannot be grasped, filled, fixed, or denied. Like its manifest monument, it can only be witnessed, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, and waded through in tiny, sometimes microscopic movements
Grief is a long game without a short cut
It is a commitment to falling apart in holy + maniacal ways
It is a commitment to non-sense
It is also an enlisting of brave, deep faith, as the outcome is taking you more than you are deciding it
All the ways we learned to understand and manage our emotional world come to a sudden and irascible halt when grief walks through the door
Is it madness? maybe. Is it sageness? Perhaps
Grief is not straightforward. It is an ever moving target
A tussling of emotions, responses, impulses, and imaginations happening as one. It is this smattering of dancing realities that we call grief
We try to pin it down. We try to clarify. We try to locate and to land. But it upends us every time
Sometimes the end of knowledge and the beginning of wisdom is allowing for the mystery and complexity of things. Of their loveliness and their lunacy
Holding hope with an ever tender palm as we let life whirl us into the next shape, stage, and self
Our greatest task at these times is to just. hold. on.
Whirling with you, in love